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The government they know everything. They know all about the late night phone calls from The West Wing! |
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— Artie shouting to Olivia Pope, Hunting Season | ||
Arthur "Artie" Hornbacher, low-level data specialist working for the NSA keeping the same job, the same salary. Having an easy menial job allows him to follow his true passion as an online crusader against every coffee chain in America. According to him, the decaffeination process is a lie and a coordinated government/corporate deception. He’s lactose intolerant, allergic to grass, honey, strawberries, peanuts, is a type-1 diabetic, and believes that vaccines are demonic.